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There is a miss between the most common beliefs about what we are doing when we seek to "potty train" our kids, and what really needs to be done. Many people think that their assignment, as potty training parents, is to teach a child how to regulate their own bodily functions. They believe that the child must learn to time bodily functions so that the results land in a toilet, instead of a diaper, or anywhere else.
This misconception is reinforced by diaper manufacturers that make "training pants" that supposedly "teach the child how to tell when they are wet or dry," This is not at all necessary. In fact, it doesn't even makes sense. If a child can tell when their hand is wet, they can tell when their bottom is wet too.
"Potty training" isn't about us getting into a child's body and flipping a magical switch. children have control of their bodies. Unless there is something developmentally wrong with a child, they know exactly what is going on. Your child has been urinating and defecating daily, since birth, they know what it feels like, and because they've been sitting in it, they know what the results are.
Children go through a stage around 18 months, some even younger. where they begin (to their parent's dismay) to pee in the bath water EVERY TIME they are put in. This is the stage where they learned how to hold it, and let it go, at will. Yes they PLANNED to pee in the bath, or the moment you took their diaper off, so they could see it! And when they stopped doing it, they planned that too. Other signs that a tot knows what they're doing are; hiding behind doors or furniture when they go in their diaper, announcing it, squatting and waiting while they go in their diaper, ceasing activity while they go, then starting up again.
Normal children know how their bodies work, and can control it, well before their second birthday. Also, any child who has gone into the bathroom with their parent, watched their parent sit and perform, participated by unrolling the TP, looking into the toilet, and then flushing it for mommy or daddy, knows EXACTLY what using the toilet is supposed to look like.
So, if our children already know all that, then what IS potty training? Potty training is about shifting responsibility from Parent to Child. We've been taking care of this for them, long enough. It's time to pass the reins on to the child. Potty training is about learning to use modern toilets, dealing with clothing, and a few other basic external skills that have absolutely nothing to do with bodily function. Potty training is about building confidence in the child, being their support system while they master these external skills, and then turning over responsibility to them.
Part 2 ->
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